admin There is no way of getting around the fact that 2020 was hard on all of us in terms of COVID, the election, and all the challenges that we all deal with in a year. For me, 2020 was the hardest year on me mentally and emotionally. I struggled with postpartum anxiety and depression then was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder that led to depression because I waited too long to get help.
So going through all that, I was able to find ways to greatly help manage my anxiety and depression. I wanted to share what I learned in hopes to help all of you who are finding themselves in a constant cycle of anxiety and depression. I’m not a medical doctor so please don’t take this as medical advice but I am sharing my experience in hopes to help give you some tools to try.
Going into 2021, I am really looking forward to taking care of my mental health first and I am encouraging you to do the same. Because you deserve to feel happy and feel good. You are enough, worthy, and capable of living a life free of anxiety and worry.
Alright, let’s get into it. I will share seven things that have GREATLY helped with my anxiety and depression. Plus, I have two free printables that can help with your anxiety and depression all the way at the bottom!
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Number 1: Seek God.
I have always had a relationship with God and always prayed for the safety of my family and always thanked God for what I had. But that was the extent of my prayer. I never came to God about my struggles with my mental health or really, any of my struggles. I sought out external factors first or other people for help which never sustained me and left me to the exact same low place I have been many times before.
I wish I would have done this a long time ago because I could have avoided so much suffering. But better later than never. I encourage you (even if it feels foreign to you) to lay it ALL out to God. He already knows your thoughts, your heart, and all you’ve been through. But speaking it out to him, will help you to see it, to understand it, and it will feel good to give it to him.
Get in a daily habit of praying to him just talking about your anxieties, fears, worries. What made you mad or upset. What you are needing. He listens. I can’t tell you how many times I have felt the weight lift off my shoulders after praying to God.
Get a devotional and read God’s word every day. It doesn’t have to be long but read a short verse in the Bible every day. I will link some devotional and bible workbooks below.
Number 2: Seek Professional Help—It’s okay to ask for help.
If I could go back and tell my postpartum self, it would be to say yes to getting help at my six week appointment. Instead, I told myself I was fine and that I would get through it. I thought I could manage it on my own. Fast forward to nine months postpartum and I FINALLY got help.
I prayed about it and felt called to set an appointment up with a therapist and a psychiatrist. That’s when I was diagnosed with GAD and got put on anxiety meds. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being on medication. It doesn’t mean you are weak. Being on anxiety meds makes me a happier mom and my kids deserve that and so do I!
If you are not comfortable with going on anxiety meds, then start with a therapist. It does wonders to have a non-biased person to talk to about all your struggles. Sometimes, it helps to get it all out.
Related Posts: Postpartum Anxiety and Postpartum Depression: It’s okay to ask for help.
Number 3: Identify your anxiety triggers & work through past trauma
This can be really, really tough especially if you are like me and EVERYTHING makes you anxious and overwhelmed. But we can never understand how to effectively deal with our anxiety if we don’t find out the reason behind it.
What I recommend helps to figure out your triggers is to keep a journal where you can write down when you feel anxious, what is making you anxious, and record what you might think led to your anxiety. I believe that there are also apps that can help track your anxiety, too!
Finding your triggers can help identify the reasons you are anxious about certain things. Once you find out your triggers over time, you can develop strong coping methods to deal with them or avoid them as much as possible.
Some anxiety will need to be dealt with on a deeper level and that is confronting and really digging deep to figure out the root of your anxiety or anxieties. A therapist can help with this further.
Number 4: Don’t avoid your anxiety and depression
If you have anxiety or depression, you are probably really good at avoiding it or trying to resist it. When you start to feel anxious, sometimes we develop unhealthy coping methods like over eating or drinking or scrolling social media instead of effectively dealing with our anxiety. We do what make us feel less anxious temporarily but never deal with it only for it to keep coming to surface again and again.
Sometimes the only way out is through. Our anxiety is there to tell us something. What is your anxiety trying to tell you? Do you get anxious flying on an airplane? Your anxiety is just trying to tell you that you desire safety. Take deep breaths and tell yourself that in this moment, I am safe.
What resists persists. Love Your Anxiety podcast (it can be found on Spotify) is a wonderful resource for more in-depth explaining of how to love your anxiety rather than fear and hate it. I can’t recommend it enough!
Number 5: Be mindful of your thoughts and how you talk to yourself
For me, negative thoughts perpetuate my anxiety even more. It takes me from being anxious to a full blown anxiety attack and even depression. So it’s very important to pay attention to the thoughts you have especially if you have intrusive thoughts or obsessive thoughts.
If you catch yourself having a negative thought or having negative self talk, it helps to speak aloud…”I think thoughts but I am NOT my thoughts.” You can also say, “I acknowledge that, that thought made me uncomfortable and disturbed me but I know that I can’t control the thoughts that come in. I am not that thought and I let it go.” Remember, that you can’t control the thoughts that come in but you can control how you respond.
This takes A LOT of practice but over time, it will become easier.
With negative self talk, another thing that helps is redirecting the negative thought into a positive one and speak it aloud.
For example, when I think things like—“I didn’t get a good enough workout in because I couldn’t keep up with the trainer.” You can say, “No, I did do a good job. Because I chose to show up and workout. I know that I gave it my all and that is all that matters.”
Challenge those negative thoughts every time!
Number 6: Practice gratitude and journal
Often times when we struggle with anxiety and depression, our mind tends to gravitate towards negative things. So maybe the things we didn’t accomplish, or the things that we are not. When our mind chooses to focus on the things that could happen, or on negative things, we tend to forget about the good things that did happen that day or the good things we have.
There is good in every day.
So get a gratitude journal and write what you are thankful for. And also, write at least one good thing from that day even if it as small as, “I got up and got ready today.” Small wins are just important as the big wins! Celebrate them.
Over time, this will teach your brain to focus on the good things rather than just the bad things.
Number 7: Practice taking a deep breath every time you start to feel anxious or overwhelmed.
My anxiety can get so bad that I can feel an anxiety attack coming on. What has helped me greatly is deep breathing. I have never been great at taking deep breaths myself and it actually made me more anxious so I never practice deep breaths. But I actually was contacted by a company called Calmigo that created a device that solved that issue for me. It is a breathing application that helps you to focus on deep breathing. It has calming scents (I have lavender) and multi-sensory stimulation that helps get you calm and focused. It helps greatly distract me from my unwanted thoughts.
