How to Lessen Anxiety by Loving Yourself More With These Five Important Steps

Anxiety has always been present in my life. I’ve always struggled with it and is even more present in my life than ever before. Becoming a mom and now being pregnant with my second, anxiety has come back full-fledged. I’ve found ways to deal with it but it seems like lately there is no off switch. I’m not sure if it’s the heightened hormones causing my anxiety to be worse or a combination of many things. As I’m sitting here in bed thinking of ways that cause my anxiety to spiral out of control, I realize that a lot of my anxiety comes from the toxic voices in my head telling me I’m not good enough. Telling me I’m not strong enough or capable enough of getting better. I feel inadequate lately. And that’s when I realize that if I loved myself a little more maybe my anxiety would decrease slightly. If I encouraged myself more or cut myself some slack more…maybe I’d be in a better place emotionally.

“Life is too short to spend it at war with yourself.”

Often times your toughest critic is yourself. We compare ourselves to others constantly wanting and wishing we were more. We set high expectations for ourselves because well if someone else can do it so can we but when we fall short then let the bashing begin. We put ourselves down when we fail and are extra hard on ourselves when we do not exceed expectations. We simply do not love ourselves enough to give ourselves the break we need and to let us be human. Happiness is hard to find when you aren’t happy with yourself…when you don’t love yourself. As I’m sitting here pouring my thoughts out, I felt inspired to list ways to love myself and yourself more. From one struggling human, daughter, friend, wife, and mother to another–I hope this list helps you love yourself more allowing you to let go of the anxiety you hold on to and to let that happiness in.

1. Be your own cheerleader: Instead of putting yourself down, build yourself up. Tell yourself everyday you are good enough, strong enough, and worthy enough. Push away those negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts. This takes practice but soon it will be easier and become second nature. We have the choice to redirect our thoughts into positive ones. We have the choice to be kinder to ourselves with our words.
2. Give yourself grace: We extend forgiveness and grace to those who hurt us because we LOVE them. It’s not different with ourselves. You aren’t perfect. You’re human. Failures and mistakes happen everyday. Our failures don’t define who we are instead it’s what we take away from it. Give yourself grace for those times you let yourself down and learn from it. Forgive yourself, let go, and let it make you stronger.
3. Stop comparing yourself to others: God made each of us different for a reason. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. With all the social media nowadays, it’s so hard to not compare your life to someone else’s. Truth is there is only one of you. Be confident in who you are created to be. Find your passion in life and do what makes you happy. That perfect person you follow on Instagram has their own set of issues and the grass is not always greener on the other side. Focus on the blessings you have in your life; your good qualities, all the challenges you’ve faced in life and you’ll realize just how beautiful and strong you are.



4. Accept who you are: There is so much talk out there about how changing yourself to be better will make you love yourself more and bring you more happiness. Wanting to be a better person and wanting to change isn’t a bad thing but it can set us up for failure. When we fall into old habits, we are hard on ourselves. Truth is, change takes time but we love in a society where we want it now. We put all this pressure and focus on ourselves wanting to change that we forget that we were individually created. God loves every part of us–our strong parts and our broken parts. We need to accept our flaws and imperfections. We accept our significant others (all the beauty and the ugly parts). We accept our children and constantly give them grace as we understand they are learning and developing knowing they aren’t perfect. We need to extend that same action to ourselves. Acceptance is key.
5. Do what you love: Life is too short to be stuck doing things you don’t love. Yes, we all have to work our 9-5 job to get by but find a hobby that makes your soul happy. Whether it’s gardening, walking outside, reading a good book, listening to music, or writing. Incorporate something you love doing every single day. Little by little, you’ll start to feel better about yourself. You’re loving yourself more by freeing up your busy day and putting some time aside for yourself.

These are five quick steps you can take that will guide you to start loving yourself more today. I truly believe that happiness starts when we can fully accept and love who we are. Having more happiness in life reduces constant anxiety. I would love to hear ways you love yourself more. Drop a comment below and together we can help each other be happier.