admin Ever heard from other mamas that every pregnancy is different from woman to woman. Well that also remains true for each pregnancy a woman has. In general, each pregnancy has its’ own set of differences. It’s crazy how different my second pregnancy has been from my first. I’m talking about not just differences in how I feel physically but how different it has been for me emotionally. I would say all in all, it’s just been a completely different experience.
I thought it’d be fun to dive in to all the differences and changes both physically and emotionally this pregnancy compared to my first. If you are finding out you’re pregnant for the second time and wonder how this pregnancy may be for you, you are in the right place. Or if you want to just relate to all the emotions that come with being pregnant the second time around then I’m here to let you know that you’re not alone Mama.
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Let’s talk about my symptoms:
I feel WAY more pregnant this time around:
Every symptom I felt with my first has been magnified by ten this pregnancy–the nausea, the soreness, sensitive smell, the exhaustion, etc. Even my anxiety has been really rough to deal with this pregnancy. I don’t know if that is because I got pregnant only nine months postpartum so I was still dealing with all the hormones but I can’t seem to shake the daily anxiety. It’s been hard but focusing on the good and positives of this pregnancy is what helps.
I am not googling every little twinge or weird thing my body does:
In my first pregnancy, I was constantly freaked out by every little thing my body was doing. Was this normal? Is this supposed to happen? You get the picture. I spent every moment obsessing over every little thing. I am a worry wart so you can only imagine…I was THAT crazy, pregnant chick. But this pregnancy, I’ve been around the block and I know what to expect. I know what to be worried about and what is a normal change in pregnancy. Of course I still have moments of anxiety over my little man–his growth and development but that is just the territory that comes with being pregnant regardless if it is your first or third.
My belly popped way sooner:
You hear this a lot from mamas with their second pregnancies. This was definitely true for me. I felt like with my first, it took forever and a day to finally start showing. But with this pregnancy, I was showing around sixteen weeks of pregnancy. It’s definitely been a lot of fun having a bump for longer. But this time around, I actually had to invest in some maternity clothes sooner. I got away with mainly leggings and my normal clothes for a long time with my first pregnancy. This pregnancy however, I needed maternity pants, shirts, sweaters, etc.
My cravings have been out of this world:
I have really struggled with my diet this time around. All I want are carbs, sweets, and junk food–all the not so great stuff. I have to force myself to eat fruits and veggies. I had better self control my first pregnancy (probably because I was paranoid about any and every thing that went into my mouth) but this pregnancy not so much. I don’t know if that is because I have to rely on quick snacks and meals since I’m chasing my toddler all around the house but it has not been easy.
Don’t worry I still eat healthy when I can but I definitely have caved in to my cravings probably more than I should.
I feel WAY more out of shape:
I started feeling sore and short of breath super early into my pregnancy. The second trimester felt more like my third in terms of soreness. I am not sure if it’s because I am doing a lot more physically–picking up my son, running after him, etc. But it seems like simple tasks like walking or doing chores like laundry and dishes is exhausting to accomplish.
I also was sick until 19 months of pregnancy with this little guy so I’m sure that had a part to play.
I got kidney stones and the flu this pregnancy:
The first trimester and beginning of my second trimester was really a challenge for me. Kidney stones is not fun especially during pregnancy. I was sick for about a month off and on with kidney stones. The physical and emotional toll it took on me was rough especially while caring for a baby. But thankfully, my husband and family helped tremendously and I got through it.
THANKFULLY, my kidney stones have not returned and morning sickness has been gone since 19 weeks of pregnancy–this pregnancy has been pretty wonderful since then and I have no complaints. Of course I feel like an old lady with all the soreness but that is way more tolerable than having kidney stones and morning sickness.
I felt baby movement sooner:
My FAVORITE part of pregnancy is feeling the baby move. When I felt my second man’s little flutter for the first time around 14-15 weeks of pregnancy, it made all the first trimester struggles worth it. I knew exactly what it was and I relished in it. With my first, I didn’t know if it was gas or baby movement. But with your second, you know exactly what to expect. I have LOVED feeling my second baby boy move for longer this time around. So far he is just as active as my first son was, maybe a little more.
If my bladder is full and I sneeze…I pee:
I didn’t have this issue with my first pregnancy. As embarrassing as this is…it’s the truth and I can’t tell you how many times I have had to change my underwear. I guess I should probably be focusing more on kegels this time around.
I am WAY more forgetful:
There are times where I cannot form sentences and words just don’t come to mind. There are times where I literally can’t think. I forget to grab things or forget what I was going to do. I think it’s that mommy brain and pregnancy brain that are the ultimate mumble jumble brain when put together.
Let’s talk about the emotional differences:
I have moments throughout this pregnancy of feeling guilty:
I found out I was pregnant when my first son was only nine months. I was of course super excited and happy to find out I was pregnant even if it was sooner than we were planning. But I couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt I had because I felt Luke deserved some more of our one on one attention.
I felt like Luke deserve some more time just being the only child since there are still so many milestones he has yet to accomplish. I also felt like I wasn’t ready to split my attention in half quite yet.
Then I started to feel guilty for feeling this way because it isn’t fair to our second little boy. Our second little boy deserves attention as well. It was this endless cycle of guilt for a little bit. But then it passed.
I remind myself that our son gets to be a big brother and we are giving him a built in best friend. I am SO thrilled and blessed to watch our boys bond and grow up together.
There are times where I don’t feel as attached to this pregnancy as I was with my first:
Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE being pregnant and LOVE my second baby boy so much already. With my first pregnancy, I was so focused on every little thing. I kept up with every weekly development, every stage of pregnancy, and really was all I thought about. But this pregnancy because my focus is on taking care of my first son so I don’t spend much time focusing on my second boy. For that reason, I don’t feel as attached. I’m not talking to him as much as I like to. I feel so guilty for it also.
I try to find little moments throughout the day to watch my belly move and pay attention to all the movement. I know I will miss it. I think that is why this pregnancy has gone much faster is because I am distracted by taking care of my son and busy most days.
I get stressed and anxious way too easily:
It seems like the load that I usually can take emotionally has been cut in half. Maybe it’s the pregnancy and mommy exhaustion combination that makes me mentally more vulnerable. I definitely get overwhelmed easily. Then I get real down on myself when I can’t do simple tasks because I am just so emotionally exhausted.
Other Differences:
I have procrastinated a lot more this pregnancy:
Our nursery for our second boy is currently still an office. I don’t know if it’s because we pretty much have everything we need since we are having another boy. So we get to use all of my first son’s things which is really nice. But I definitely need to get started. Thankfully, I am no longer working so I have time to get things together so no excuses, right??
I don’t get to nap when I want to:
That is a luxury I miss when I was pregnant with my first. Pregnancy is exhausting especially while chasing a toddler around the house and keeping up with daily house chores. With my first pregnancy, I could come home from a long day of work and nap. Or if I felt nauseous, I could sleep it off. But being pregnant for the second time, you don’t get to take time off from being mom.
I don’t have to put much effort or research into labor and preparing for a newborn:
I took a labor and delivery class with my first but since I have been there and done that, there is no need the second time around. I can spend that extra time getting the nursery together that I have procrastinated on ;).
I also don’t have to do any research on what to expect with a newborn since I’ve been through that. However, I still get anxious thinking about the newborn stage because there so tiny and vulnerable. And then of course you have the added expense of juggling a newborn and a toddler. But hey, I have experience so that gives me some assurance ;).
No baby shower this time around:
Since it’s my second and I am having another boy, there really isn’t a need for a baby shower. We have pretty much all we need for our second little man thanks to our first son. Which is really nice since I am not working, it helps save us some money. We can focus on buying things we will need and not have to worry about all the extras. I do feel a little guilty that our second boy isn’t getting showered but I know he will still get spoiled and won’t have all hand me downs.
I get to share this pregnancy with my first born:
Even though my first son is only fifteen months, it has been so much fun to include him in this pregnancy. He loves lifting my shirt up and rubbing my belly. He gets so excited every time he sees my belly. I tell him to “give loves to baby brother” and he lays his head down on my stomach. My heart swells every time. It truly is one of the best feelings. I cannot imagine what it will be like to see him meet his baby brother for the first time.
There are times where someone will ask me how far along I am and I have to really think about it:
Don’t worry I always get the right answer, it just takes a second. Like I mentioned before, time goes by way faster when I have another baby to take care of. I definitely don’t follow my what to expect app like I did with my first pregnancy and take as many weekly bump pictures as I would like too.
Oh how different it is this time around but one thing that hasn’t changed is I am trying to be as present as I can.
I know how fast time goes. I know how fast pregnancy goes. Even though this pregnancy has been harder on me, I really want to enjoy every part of it to the fullest. I try every day to be in the present and enjoy each pain and beauty in being pregnant. It is such a miracle to grow life and even though challenging, it is worth every bit of it.
I also want to be in the present with my son, Luke. It won’t be just us for long (that is whole other emotional struggle I am dealing with, lol). I want to be fully his while I can. I want to enjoy every milestone and give him all the one on one love he needs. I know I won’t be able to give him all my attention once our second boy arrives but I am giving him a brother and that is pretty dang special.
So mamas, if you are pregnant for the second time and dealing with all the emotions and differences, just know you aren’t alone. Good luck with juggling your pregnancy and your little one. You got this.
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