admin As a mom, time to yourself can seem impossible especially with little ones. You are busy nurturing, taking care and loving your littles from sun up to sun down. And even though it is rewarding work, it is also exhausting work. You always hear people say that a morning routine changed their day to day and their life. But what if you aren’t a morning person or what if your baby/toddler is still waking up at 5 a.m. in the morning? How it is possible? I feel you mama. It’s hard to find a routine when your needs for your littles are always changing. And maybe your needs are always changing too.
That is what I was struggling with. Trying to commit to a routine when I know things change quickly and the fact that I also am not a morning person. Hence why I was inspired to write this blog post to help fellow moms who have this same struggle. I am going to split this up into two parts. If your toddlers and/or children wake up at a consistent time every morning and you just struggle with starting that morning routine then I’ll start there just underneath this paragraph. Otherwise, the second part will be for those that still have inconsistent wake up times and/or early wake up times and you can scroll down until you get to that part.
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For Mamas Whose kids wake up at a consistent time & Need Help On How To Start A Morning Routine
Tip 1: Start Small When First Implementing A Morning Routine
We can’t go from never waking up and establishing a routine in the morning to wanting to waking up an hour earlier than you usually do. Trust me, I have been there done that and it’s not an effecting long term goal. So what has helped me greatly is setting my alarm just fifteen minutes before I get my boys out of their rooms. Yup, that is right just fifteen minutes before. I do that for a week until I am consistent with waking up and doing my little morning routine. Then once you have the habit formed, you can add five to ten minutes on to your wake up time so you are waking up 20 to 25 minutes before your kids. And just keep doing that method until you get to the amount of time you want to yourself in the morning before your kids wake up.
My fifteen minute morning routine looked like this:
Wake Up at 6:45 am –> Wash my face, put my contacts in, read a devotion and say a prayer for intentions for the day, and make coffee. I kept it as simple as possible with zero expectations.
Tip 2: Give Yourself Time To How To See How it Helps You
I think a lot of the time we think that we will magically notice the difference once we start a morning routine and having time to ourselves. But that is not the case always. Routines take time to adjust and work the kinks out. It takes time to see the routine and habit make a difference for your mental health. So make sure you are patient with yourself and commit to this routine for at least a month so you can really see how it impacts your day to day and life!
Tip 3: Find a routine that makes you excited to get up every morning
Take time to write the things that YOU need for your mental health. How YOU would like to start your day off on the right path. What makes YOU feel good? What brings YOU joy? What makes YOU happy? These are the things that will pull you out of that bed. For me it was being able to sit and enjoy hot coffee and spending quiet time with the Lord. Those two things alone always set a positive tone for my day. You have to have a reason for getting up early and establishing new habits because that is hard to do.
Tip 4: Be Flexible, Let go of expectation, and Give yourself grace
There are going to be mornings where you may have adjust your morning routine. Maybe that means you only get five minutes instead of your fifteen or however long your usual morning time is. Maybe you only feel like doing two out of the four things you like to do in the morning. Maybe you don’t even get to do your morning routine because of x,y, and z. It’s okay if it doesn’t look perfect every day, just don’t give up. Get back into it as soon as you can and keep going. Keep starting even if you have to start over again. You are so deserving of that time, mama. And your kids are benefiting from this time that you carve out for yourself, too.
How To Do A Morning Routine When Your Kids Wake Up At Inconsistent Times Or You Aren’t A Morning Person
Tip 1: Focus on Routine Rather Than A Scheduled Time
What do I mean by this? As a perfectionist, I used to get down on myself when I could uphold the scheduled time. Like if my boys woke up at 5 a.m. then there was no way I was going to wake up before that. So when you focus on routine rather than a fixed time, it allows you to be flexible for when circumstances change. You are able to adapt easily but still find a way to have that time.
This could look like making sure you have quiet time however that looks for you even when your kids are awake. For example, you could put the tv on for your toddler and wear your baby while you drink hot coffee and read a book or read a devotion. Or you can reserve the things that bring you joy and your quiet time when you put your littles down for a nap.
Tip 2: Set Boundaries with Your Children & Keep the Routine as consistent as possible
If you have toddlers who can understand you for the most part, this can look like you telling them…”Mommy needs to get ready before I make breakfast.” You could give them a snack and tell them to play by themselves why you carve out that time. For awhile, I made sure every day that there would be no tv time until after breakfast and I would not make breakfast until I had at least ten minutes to myself. Sometimes they would stay in their rooms for independent play time and other times they would make a mess but be content while I took that time for myself.
Again, that didn’t always work. So I then would get that time to myself when they had their “TV time” and I would be able to the things that bring me joy and set the tone for my day even though it had already started.
Related Posts: A Self Care Activity To Add To Your Daily Routine
Tip 3: Adjust Your Mindset To What Alone Time Looks Like
Sometimes that quiet time may look different than how it looks from other mom’s quiet time. All of our demands and needs for ourselves and our children are different. It’s a trial and error process and you have to take the time to figure out what works for you and your children. Sometimes your quiet time may be setting your littles down in a safe environment and taking some deep breaths, asking God for guidance and patience for a few minutes behind a closed door. That is okay. But be intentional with providing for your needs too. You are just as important as your child and that is something I wish I knew before becoming a parent.
Tip 4: Try To Remember That Situations Are A Season And Temporary
There will be days where you won’t be able to get that time to yourself and that is okay. Remembering that you are not failing because you could keep your routine rather that some days it’s just hard to stick to those routines. You are doing the best you can and that is all that matters.
Other resources for how to establish routines and new habits below:
Atomic Habits : This book is AMAZING. The author breaks it down with science, history, and makes in applicable to your daily life. It helped me understand myself more and how to make habits that actually stick.
The High 5 Habit: This is also a great book if you struggle with self doubt and self worth.
Slay Like A Mother: This is also a great book especially for mothers who struggle with perfectionism and don’t feel deserving to take time for themselves.
I hope this can help give you the push you need to make some time for yourself in the mornings or any time during the day. Your mental health, emotional health, physical health is all so important and when you are intentional with giving yourself time, it teaches your children to do the same! If you have any other tips, questions, or whatever else you would like to add. Please feel free to do in the comments below!
