If you are here, then I am so sorry that you are struggling with postpartum depression and anxiety. It is my hope that my story can encourage you to find help. So that you can know and feel that you indeed are a wonderful mother.
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This is hard for me to share.
But I refuse to believe that this is my struggle to experience behind closed doors. Because of the stigma attached to mental health. Because of the “shame” or “weakness” that is attached to mental health.
I am sharing this part of me because
I feel compelled to do so. If my struggle can help one person, then maybe all this pain is worth it.
I have hit an all time low with my mental health this last week.
I mean to the point where I am struggling to function. I don’t feel comfortable sharing everything but basically have never been in such a scary and dark place. ⠀
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I have been selfish and stubborn when it comes to my mental health. I keep thinking I’ll get through this on my own. I can conquer this on my own. It’s temporary. ⠀
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And then I get through it. I’ll be good for a week. And then it hits me all over again. I get knocked down again. Only this time, it’s even harder to get back up. It feels like I’m drowning in my thoughts. ⠀
But I am too stubborn to ask for help.
I don’t need medication. I can do this myself. I don’t need to see a therapist. I can do this myself. I don’t want people to think I can’t handle being a mom. If they see I’m in therapy then they will think I am a bad mom. ⠀
But each time my anxiety and depression comes back, the wave pulls me under deeper. ⠀
Related Posts:
Reminder for mamas with postpartum anxiety and depression
How to ditch the mom guilt
That was this weekend for me. I had to ask for help. My husband took the boys and they had fun at their grandparents while I stayed at home…finally mustering up the courage to come head to head with my thoughts and feelings. ⠀
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I prayed. I have been praying. And then I walk away from my prayer to go back to doing things MY way. Until yesterday, where I finally had clarity. I can’t do this on my own. I never could. ⠀
So today I called and I set up my first therapy session.
Setting my pride and stubbornness aside because I’m tired of doing it myself. ⠀
I need help.
My boys deserve a happy, present mom. Not one trying to be. If you are struggling with anxiety/depression (mother, father, anyone), I hope my story encourages you to do the same. ⠀
It’s okay if you need help.
It doesn’t make you less than. It doesn’t mean you aren’t strong. Quite the contrary actually. We don’t have to suffer.
God didn’t put us on this earth to suffer this way. God made special humans (Therapists) to help. I’m giving you permission to pass the torch and ask for help. ♥️
You are an outstanding mom because you made that call! You are not alone. Moms everywhere go through this and you’re right, we don’t talk about it enough. I wish you well on your journey and don’t forget to take care of yourself and ask for help. You deserve to be happy and healthy and enjoying your boys just as much as they deserve a happy and healthy mom!
Thank you SO much for your sweet words, support and encouragement. I appreciate it so much. <3
I struggled with grief induced depression for far longer than I should have before I finally asked for help. Thank you for sharing your story. It is important for people to hear.
Thank you for reading and sharing your story! <3
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